Tuesday June 18, 1996

Dear Diary,

S.S.L. I’ve been so busy. Sunday we went to Michelle’s graduation party, but first I’ll tell you about graduation. It wuz so sad! I think Mark*checked me out! Cool! I looked good though. So back to Michelle’s party. Pretty much everyone was there, including Joe*. When we got back form the party, we all hung out at Paula’s and Joe* flirted heavily with me. He couldn’t believe I’d never been kissed before & kept asking me to score with him! I want to but I don’t know how.

Audi! Julie

Dear 1996 Julie,

Oh sweet Jesus Lord woman, get a grip. I wish you didn’t freak out as much about stuff like “scoring” (which by the way is just kissing…or at least that’s what I thought). It will literally paralyze you later in life to the point of sweating like a 300lb man when near a boy and turning into a God damn mute. It sucked, and it made asking Mike Merriam to prom very, very difficult. Thank God he realized what you were trying to say and asked you…to your own prom…in the middle of the produce department of Stop and Shop.

You kill me, Julie

*name has been changed

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2 Responses to Tuesday June 18, 1996

  1. Kristin says:

    This is the funniest shit I have read in a long time…keep it comming…youre a hoot!!!

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