Monday January 6, 1997

Dear Diary,

Hi! Sup? N/M/H Guess what? They fucked up the cafe! They jacked up the prices, took out 3 tables, and changed the entrance and exit! They have napkin holders, ketchup, salt and pepper on each table now! How Ritzy! Too ritzy for me of corse! N-E ways, Michelle mailed a pic of me to her friend Dennis whom she wants to set me up with! I saw a pic of him from like 3 years ago and I’m not impressed. I know, I know, that’s wicked mean, but I’m sorry!

G/G ❤ Julie

Dear 1997 Julie

Um, hello, you forgot to mention the addition of Reese’s crunchy cookie cup in the vending machine. That shit is newsworthy, not having ketchup on the tables. And your right, it was far too ritzy for your hood rat ass. I can’t believe you actually had to snail mail a picture of yourself to some random boy. You couldn’t just meet up with him? Oh well, apparently he was too fugly for you anyway. Is anyone ever good enough for you?!

Audi! Julie

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